We love hearing amazing stories from parents on how they stay connected to their college student. Part of that connection involves hearing about the ups and downs of school, sports, friend drama and even... dating. To show they care, we've even had parents send their student self-care care boxes during a difficult breakup.
We asked our great friend and tremendously successful entrepreneur, Hilary DeCesare to share her perspective on successful college relationships. Hilary is the Executive Coach and Founder of RelaunchLove - an innovative program that relaunches the love lives of single executive women.
The Rule: Don't Make Dates an Episode of 20-Questions
The biggest mistake women make in dating is "filling in the silence," which inevitably leads to a makeshift game of 20-questions. Hillary says,
"It may feel SO right at the time given the awkward pauses in your conversation to ask him about his life, his interests and his background. You really want to connect with him. And since he isn’t asking you any questions, you figure if you start asking him questions, he will get the hint and do the same."
Over and over again, this leads to that awkward hug at the end of a date that feels like you just said goodbye to your brother!
Here's the issue with asking all the questions– it doesn't give him the opportunity or incentive to get to know you. Your story is important. Getting to know you is important. So get comfortable with a few awkward silences in the conversation and see if connection can happen in the space in between.
Before you think this advice is for women only, it applies equally to men. While women typically fall into this rut quicker, college is a time when young adults may not be stuck in the typical stereotypical ruts. Also, dating the same gender may create a different dynamic altogether. What's important to understand is that any new relationship needs some space for both people to get to be heard and known. A one-sided conversation is never going to lead to a second date that is meaningful and based on mutual attraction.
No matter what your college student is facing, we make it easy to show you care. Let our team at Me To You Box handle the details!